After being married two years to a sex addict you are spot on. Porn addiction isn’t an addiction with sex, it’s a fear of intimacy coupled with a need for intimacy. There lies the problem.

The fear of rejection is so high that it’s not easily overcome. It’s often a deep-seated unconscious terror. It’s not enough to know about it. It must be faced and worked through like all other anxieties.

Many with porn problems and other sexual acting out behaviors have gotten very good at deception. They’ve mastered lying and misdirection. Partly to keep their problem a secret but also to hide their shame and perceived unworthiness. Getting someone to be honest is the toughest part. How do you know if their lying since they even deceive themselves?

I think that’s why recovery is a dismal 5%. Someone that afraid isn’t going to willing come out and admit his or her issues.

With the rate of porn consumption on the rise, I’m alarmed. Here’s another epidemic we are ignoring. Sexual addiction hardwires the brain in ways that can’t simply be undone.

We need to wake up.

Written by

Psychologist/Author. Quora & Medium Top Writer. Mom of three, Autistic woman, Relationship expert

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store