I had to reread and soak in your comment. It’s chocked full of riches. I’m still mining it. Thank you for the link to the research study on practices of deceptiveness. I had no idea there was a body of research looking into this. And that study was from 2008! I’d love to see what’s been learned over the past 12 years.
You named several things that have been bothering me but I hadn’t been able to put them into words. So thank you for articulating what I’ve been sensing.
I’ve noticed that there is an extreme preoccupation among dating men (could be among men in general but I can’t speak to that) in obtaining sex without the bothersome need for a relationship. They’ll even fake interest just to obtain that goal. It’s all sweet and warm for the lead up. Then the request comes to hookup (usually disguised). If delayed or denied, BAM! They’re gone. Oh and don’t you be a prude and call them on this shitty behavior either. Then you’re a cold, uptight bitch.
What the hell? You’re right… this isn’t just about the man’s efforts to protect his independence. It’s much more sinister than that. It’s an extremely misogynistic form of the objectification of women for sex.
Thank you for making these connections for me and for challenging this article. And thank you for providing me a link to ongoing research. I’m going to do some more digging.
This is an example of not knowing what you don’t know. I’m very grateful you commented. Thank you.