After being married for two years to a sex addict I can attest that your list of “sins” destroyed my interest in marital sex and diminished my drive.
My ex focus was exclusively on himself — which usually meant he would get satisfying me out of the way so he could “play.”
After which he proceeded to go way too long so that I ended up physically sore and emotionally irritable from feeling used.
Sex was also withheld to demonstrate his control. My protests were gaslighted, resulting in me feeling ashamed of wanting to be physically close.
I look back on this now and am very sad and angry. So much emotional abuse. Yet I’m not alone. This is happening to partners of sex addicts universally. Omar Minwalla, PhD has been studying the abuse of partners with startling findings. He’s identified 13 areas of trauma.
So sad to see how one’s selfish practices can have the opposite effect on intimacy. How it robs the relationship of closeness.
Thank you for this honest look into our sexual practices.