Getting one’s shit together initially takes mega doses of courage with an ounce of self-respect thrown into the mix. Shame, with large splashes of hot anger, usually helps to get the ball rolling.

Once some visible progress has been made, growing self-respect takes over. Fear finally crawls from the front seat to the back and shuts the hell up.

And those tats, scars, and gray streaks in our hair add an odd kind of wise beauty. And when they speak up from time to time with wisdom, best to heed their advice.

We really are all the same — good girls and bad girls. We all have to walk the same hard path. Good girls give up our anxious perfectionism, rigid self-control, fear of others, snotty arrogance, and that ugly smell that comes from thinking our shit doesn’t stink.

Bad girls scare us with the smell of vomit on their breath and smeared mascara running down their faces until we discover we’re scary too. Then we learn we are all running from the same dark fear — Ourselves.

It’s the journey — this process, but, oh, one that is so worth it. I’m so glad you and I are walking it together:). You’re the best Ashley Shannon!

Psychologist/Author. Quora & Medium Top Writer. Mom of three, Autistic woman, Relationship expert

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