Having been married for two painful years to narcissistic serial cheater, I also contemplated cheating on him. I felt so rejected, unwanted, invisible, and overall mind f**cked, that I ached to even the score. To give him a small taste of his medicine.
I wasn’t for sure if it would have worked though. I wasn’t sure he cared enough for me or about me. But I understand your action — it makes sense.
In private circles, wives and partners of these types of people like to share this kind of wish around ourselves. It allows us to say it out loud to someone. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sick at the horrific pain you went through. I hope you are healing. I am slowly.
Best wishes in all that you do. And may you never be so disregarded by another person again.