I burst out laughing at your response. Especially when I read your statement, "given the current state of affairs." Ah yah.... pretty dismal out there. I thought it was fascinating how orgasmic women are alone or with female partners. Very telling statistics.

Men seem to think the clitoris needs the same kind of rough, fast handling their penises do to achieve pleasure. One guy told me he forgot "how sensitive I was" after touching me roughly. I wondered how many other women had subjected themselves to his poor treatment.

My ex rubbed the end of my clitoris so long, it hurt to pee the next day. I tried escaping his clutches. He flipped me over and continued to do it as a way to make the point not to bitch about his lack of interest in our sex life. He was a sex addict who was taking his libido everywhere but home. Yeah, he basically raped me, if you can it that since I wasn't penetrated, but he certainly abused me that night.

My late husband wouldn't accept the introduction of a vibrator to our repetoire after his cancer diagnosis. He told me he feared I would prefer it over his penis. This was after he'd lost all interest in sex due to being fatigued. There was no competition. I said nothing, but cried privately. Here I was trying to find a way to stay sexually connected, but he completely missed the point.

These stories make me very sad. But I suspect they are all too often common for many of us. Even you, a sexologist, has had a partner who thinks he knows your body better than you.

Such a pitiful commentary on our state of affairs. I'm so glad I stumbled across your article this morning. I'm very excited to read more of your work. Thank you for being an huge advocate of healthier relationships!

Written by

Psychologist/Author. Quora & Medium Top Writer. Mom of three, Autistic woman, Relationship expert kerry@kerrymcavoyphd.com

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