Ten big yeps to this list. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and have already burned it!

I agree with the another commenter that there is an eleventh habit. My serial cheater liked to use projection as a frequent defense mechanism. He would accuse me and others of doing or of being the very things he disliked about himself.

For example, we had an argument over the appropriateness of me texting a male colleague about work-related issues when he had been secretly sexting many other women. He would criticize drivers on their habits and then cut them off. He accused me of lacking empathy for how hard day he’d had when I approached him to be intimate, yet he’d let his alarm go off three different times despite my earlier request to sleep in due to extreme fatigue, and so on.

I soon learned any expression of distaste or judgement about myself or others was a hint to one of his issues. He abhorred the qualities in others that he possessed.

Excellent article!

Written by

Psychologist/Author. Quora & Medium Top Writer. Mom of three, Autistic woman, Relationship expert kerry@kerrymcavoyphd.com

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