This was a painful look at myself. Wow….we do have a LONG way to go. I’m embarrassed and ashamed. Thank you for this honest look.

I have been broken. Utterly broken by George Floyd’s death. The horrificness of it, senselessness of it, the brutality of it.

As a mom, my heart is torn in two for his mom. As a sister, my heart grieves for his loss to his family. As a neighbor, who values how much mine brighten my day I ache for the hole he left in his community. But most of all, as a human being worthy of life and love, I cannot imagine having it taken from me in such a thoughtless cold-blooded way.

It’s hard to see one’s own privilege. It’s like a cloaked wrapped tightly up around me. It protects me, comforts me, entitles me. It’s an invisible way I move through the world.

But I also lack privilege at certain times and certain ways. I’m a rape victim. I have been the another person’s object of rage. He dumped all his pain, shame, and bitterness into me with that violence.

I can’t imagine living in the place as that as a constant reality. Despite being female in a male- dominated world, I get to wrap my white, highly educated privilege up close to me for added safety.

So thank you for ripping off my blinders. It has hurt like hell, but, oh, how I needed it.

Here’s the next big question — where do we go from here?

One obvious answer is that no man should ever lose his life in such a senseless way.

But what else? There’s got to be more than that.

Written by

Psychologist/Author. Quora & Medium Top Writer. Mom of three, Autistic woman, Relationship expert kerry@kerrymcavoyphd.com

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