When I wrote that I thought the same thing — who cares? What does it matter to others? It’s my problem not theirs.

What I was trying to capture was the entitlement that some profiles ooze. Both genders do it. I know so because the guys I meet tell me it’s happening to them as well.

No one deserves a certain type of person as a dating partner. Fit men don’t get a skinny woman as their prize for working out. No, they get a stronger body and better health. Their hours at the gym hasn’t earned them a good-looking woman, but maybe it has given them a longer life. What ridiculousness.

I hear women believe they have a right to a tall man or a handsome guy who brings home a large paycheck. Really? Who says? Just because she’s a size 2 with fake DD tits? What arrogance.

We get so caught up on what we want in a partner that we treat meeting someone like we are picking out options on a new car purchase.

No, this is a real person which a rich history of a lived life. Their purpose isn’t to gratify or shore up our weak, insecure ego but rather to bring to us a sense of being connected and known by another.

And you right as well, our history tells a story on our bodies. Living and working on a dairy farm has given me arthritis. Having children gave me boobs. No kidding. I went from flat chested to large following the birth of my first son. Too many hours studying for my doctoral program brought on the extra body weight. Chasing after three growing boys all on the asperger’s spectrum made taking it off challenging. Caring for my first husband as he faced terminal cancer taxed me and then my cheating second husband nearly finished me off.

My body carries these war scars of life. No one could possibly understand any of this unless they take the time to meet and get to know me. So, please swipe left if I’m no more than a doll on your arm. I won’t do a very good job of that for you.

However if you are interested in a relationship, then let’s get to know one another. I can be understand and patient with your imperfect aging body if you can be with mine.

Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. I could have explain all of that better. — Kerry

Written by

Psychologist/Author. Quora & Medium Top Writer. Mom of three, Autistic woman, Relationship expert kerry@kerrymcavoyphd.com

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